Looking after a newborn baby is proving harder than I had expected. I am coping, but some days only just.
We have our good days too. Like yesterday I actually managed to do the dishes, hang up the washing, take the rubbish out, clean up the rubbish the dog dragged out in the backyard, clean the kitchen floor AND have a shower! I didn't sweep before I mopped and probably didn't wash my ears probably, but I felt immensely good that I got some things done at last.
Ella has actually been sleeping a bit more in the past few days, which gave me a chance to catch up on some sleep too. But it still takes me a lot of time and effort to get her to sleep. I usually end up feeding her to sleep, even though I know it's just comfort feeding.
Since a week or so she has started to have screaming sessions in the evenings. It's not the normal crying she does during the day when she wants food or attention. She really screams so hard I get afraid she's going to choke. And nothing I do can calm her down it seems. So I just have to let her scream and wait till she gets tired of it.
I find it very frustrating and also find it hard to love her when she's like that. I end up having to walk away. Fortunately the screaming only lasts for about half an hour. Then she calms down and it'll take me another hour or so to get her to fall asleep.
Darn, she's woken up. Well that was my me time for today, folks.
She's been asleep for nearly 2 hours which is good. She had been awake for over 3 hours before that tho and had an early screaming session... Maybe it was the storm?
She looks like an angel when she's asleep! And when she's worn herself out screaming she looks so incredibly sad with tear filled eyes, a trembling lower lip and the saddest little sob now and again. Those are the moments I just want to smother her with kisses.
She also pulls the funniest faces at me. When I get her out of the crib in the morning she has this look of surprise on her face. But often she'll also look at may face as if it's the scariest thing.
I try to remember these moments when I feel like throwing her against the wall to stop her screaming and think I'm the worst mum in the world...
We have our good days too. Like yesterday I actually managed to do the dishes, hang up the washing, take the rubbish out, clean up the rubbish the dog dragged out in the backyard, clean the kitchen floor AND have a shower! I didn't sweep before I mopped and probably didn't wash my ears probably, but I felt immensely good that I got some things done at last.
Ella has actually been sleeping a bit more in the past few days, which gave me a chance to catch up on some sleep too. But it still takes me a lot of time and effort to get her to sleep. I usually end up feeding her to sleep, even though I know it's just comfort feeding.
Since a week or so she has started to have screaming sessions in the evenings. It's not the normal crying she does during the day when she wants food or attention. She really screams so hard I get afraid she's going to choke. And nothing I do can calm her down it seems. So I just have to let her scream and wait till she gets tired of it.
I find it very frustrating and also find it hard to love her when she's like that. I end up having to walk away. Fortunately the screaming only lasts for about half an hour. Then she calms down and it'll take me another hour or so to get her to fall asleep.
Darn, she's woken up. Well that was my me time for today, folks.
She's been asleep for nearly 2 hours which is good. She had been awake for over 3 hours before that tho and had an early screaming session... Maybe it was the storm?
She looks like an angel when she's asleep! And when she's worn herself out screaming she looks so incredibly sad with tear filled eyes, a trembling lower lip and the saddest little sob now and again. Those are the moments I just want to smother her with kisses.
She also pulls the funniest faces at me. When I get her out of the crib in the morning she has this look of surprise on her face. But often she'll also look at may face as if it's the scariest thing.
I try to remember these moments when I feel like throwing her against the wall to stop her screaming and think I'm the worst mum in the world...
Lin
